I currently weigh the exact same I did when I was in college.
But there’s a big difference between who I was and how I looked then and who I am and how I look today.
Back then I wanted nothing more than to resemble the women I saw on the covers of Oxygen magazine. Lean, muscular, and displaying that beautiful X frame.
As a result, I was struggling big time with disordered eating behaviors, while being a slave to my exercise regimen. I lived off of egg beaters, steamed veggies, protein shakes, and copious amounts of sugar free foods to curb my intense cravings. I was also training 6-7 times per week, often twice a day.
I dieted and exercised my way to a low level of bodyfat but had no muscle to show for it.
So even though I was pleased with the number on the scale, I was no where near satisfied with what I saw in the mirror.
Today, I have a healthy relationship with food, eat what I want in moderation, train 4 times per week for no more than an hour, while leisure walking often instead of logging miles on the treadmill.
And whatta ya know, I finally look like I lift.
While I’m proud of the work I’ve put in and how far I’ve come, there’s still plenty of room to make progress. I’d love rounder shoulders, a more muscular back, and firmer glutes.
But if tomorrow I woke up 20 pounds heavier, yet was feeling’ like a million bucks, living a balanced lifestyle, with a bangin’ body to show for it, I wouldn’t care about the number.
Not to say I think the scale is useless. It can be helpful to assess if what you’re doing is working. But it shouldn't be your only way of measuring progress.
And it sure as hell shouldn’t determine your self worth of If you’re going to have a good day.
However, if you’re struggling to detach your emotions from the number and it’s causing even more stress, it might be time to break up with it for a bit, while focusing on other markers of improvement. Like getting stronger, having more energy, and a better quality of life.
It could also mean getting to the root of why you’re letting it have so much control over you.
What are you making the number mean about yourself and why is hitting it so important?